And then it was 2015...

Happy 2015! It has been a few months since I've posted. Ryan is now almost 10 months old. He's 23 lbs, speed crawling and bringing so much joy into our lives. He eats everything but baby food. We just feed him what we have for dinner and all is well.  It's actually easier that way.   His sleeping is sporadic and has been ending up in bed with us in the middle of the night. We're so tired that we just let him. I really don't mind since my other kids don't still sleep with us so I know it won't be forever.

Steve is a wonderful daddy and still amazes me daily when I see how much he loves us all.  Life is how we make it and we're doing our best to make the best of our life.  Each and every day is a gift to us and I feel immensely blessed to be here.

My children are my light. I am loving growing closer to each and every one of them every day. Sarah is now an adult, but will be forever my baby. Allison is so grown up and I love seeing how alike we are and also our differences. Tyler is still my sweet and kind baby boy who cares so much for people and animals alike. Ryan is my rambunctious baby who lights up my life from sun up to sun down and often in the middle of the night. haha.

Our family recently obtained a young rescue pup. Steve wanted a dog to grow up with Ryan and we found the perfect one.  Chase is a Malamute, Siberian Husky, German Shepherd Mix. or a Geberian Shepsky. Yes, we now have a designer dog (eye roll) He's so cute and looks like a baby bear.   He's only like 9 weeks old so far and has a lot of training to go but he's such a good doggy for our family.  We rescued him from the Rocking M Ranch in Southern California and picked him up in Temecula, CA . He was one of 9 pups in a high kill shelter and the Rocking M Ranch was able to rescue 5 of them. We were blessed to find Chase.

Looking at myself. I am currently 10 months postpartum. I am at a weight and state of mind in which I never thought I'd be. I initially lost the baby weight but it didn't stay off long. I blinked at it was back on and then some.   Having knowingly had PCOS for the past 9 years, I am well aware of it's symptoms. They have come back with a vengeance.   I first recognized my weight gain primarily around my abdomen since my legs and upper body don't ever seem to change much. Along with that was an increase to my anxiety. I have always suffered from social anxiety but it seems to have begun to worsen.  Next I noticed hirsutism. I HATE even thinking about it but it just started getting bad. Then came the acne, missed periods and sharp pains that feel like ruptured cysts. I have had them before, so I'm well aware of the feeling.   I have an appointment with my OB/GYN today to discuss options.  I want to change my birth control and go back on Metformin.  Metformin worked wonders for me before and when I changed insurance and doctors I just didn't continue with it. I'm hoping my Dr will agree to this.

Along with medicinal changes I have decided to lower my carb intake. Today is day one. I will not post daily posts on social media as whenever I have tried that in the past it just doesn't work for me. I will do this for me and not for public/friend support and the comments and suggestions. I think the well meaning suggestions are what bother me the most. I know people mean well, but I want to do this my way. I have private messaged a couple of people who I know can offer me help and advice but, so far that will be it.   Knowing it's in my genetics and diabetes runs in my family, I believe that a LOW CARB lifestyle is what will work best for MY BODY based on my family history.

I wish everyone happiness and laughter! :)

***update.  I went to my Obstetrician and he was very well educated in PCOS and let me try a new birth control and let me go back on Metformin and was happy to do both.