My Family

My Family

Monday, August 11, 2014

Depression is real

Always after a death, whether it be someone close like a family or friend, or someone famous that even though we didn't know them they some how touched us - Social media is always filled with closeness. Most of the comments are about sadness or favorite memories. A few scattered heartless people are out there, but gladly most of them are good filled memories. When someone dies by their own hand, my heart breaks for what they must have gone through to get to that point. 

Depression is real.

I have suffered depression for many years. A decade or more at least. I believe that everyone suffers this terrible "whateverthisis" different than others. I also believe that we all cannot be treated the same way. Thankfully, I have not been to the point where I want to end my own life. I cannot know what those people are thinking and what they're going through. I do know that we all have our own secrets and things we've been through and no matter how much we share, we never share it all. There will always be something inside that we keep for just ourselves.  We can NEVER know everything about someone else.  I do know it is not what we want. Nobody wants to feel depressed. It's a terrible way to feel. It's...well...depressing. 

Depression cannot be snapped out of.

People can look happy and act happy and actually feel happy sometimes and still suffer from depression. I have many good days, good moments, good hours. Photos of me looking happy and laughing, I am happy and laughing in that moment. It can change. I know it will change...I just don't know when.  I could have all the money in the world, but that doesn't beat depression. I am not sure what it will take, I just know that it's real and misunderstood.

Depression doesn't equal "emo"

I am a very sensitive and emotional person. I cry at almost every movie.  I also think many appropriateness things are hysterically funny. I love to drink beer and sometimes I drink too much. I pray and believe in God. I try to love everyone regardless of what they believe. I am many things and my depression doesn't define me. It doesn't fit into any one type of person. It goes after every type of person.

How to "deal" with someone who suffers from depression

Love them. Let them know you care. Give them space and know they still care about you but may not be able to show it. Don't judge them. Think hard before you hand out advice. Let them know they're not alone and that you WANT to hear what they have to say. You WANT to be apart of their lives even if they think their life isn't worth living.  The hardest part, for me at least, is feeling as though I'm whining or talking about things someone else doesn't want to hear or want to understand. I don't want to be a burden and I don't want people judging me.  This doesn't mean you need to give up on your own life and take on the pain of your friend or loved one.  There's a time and place for everything.  You don't have to fully understand what someone is going through to love them. Love them anyway.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Why do I share

I ask myself why I feel the need to share so much about my life. I often wonder why does anyone feel the need to do anything? Why do artists, create? Why do authors, write? Why do athletes do athletic stuff. Why do couch potatoes sit on couches and eat potatoes?  It's just something in us that has the passion to do it, so we do.   I love writing, but don't have the patience to write a book. I've tried, I get bored with it. But I like writing and this is how I can do it. Social Media makes it quite simple to share thoughts and events with hundreds, if not thousands, of people at a time.

In the end. I share because I want to and because I can.

Friday, August 1, 2014

In Love

Relationships. Only God knows why this one is different from all the rest. Well, actually, every relationship is different so that's nothing new...however, I have never felt the need to 'claim' someone. I am not sure if it's because of what I've been through in the past few years or what. I fall in love more and more with Steve all the time. I don't like being a part from him and if we could spend all day together every day I would be incredibly happy.   I've also never experienced this type of jealousy before.  It's not "I'll cut you b---- if you get near my man" type. It's more reserved and internal than that. I want him to be proud to have me next to him. I want the world to know we're inseparable.  It's an entirely new feeling and it's over powering. I suppose this is how the crazy, psycho girls are created. *nervous laughter*  I'm only kidding.  I'm not psycho...just mildly crazy. *wink*

My love and Me